The Great Toaster Prank
by LegacyRBluesummers
Summary: Crackfic, Ratchet, the Twin Terrors, and Toaste


**Hey everyone! Another fic from me in such a short period?! Gasp Shocking, no? Grins Anyways, this started out as a discussion of a couple of posts from an RPG I'm a member of...and it quickly went downhill from there...This is dedicated to my partner in crime, Runya! Thanks for the plotbunnies and the assistance!**

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"Awww, come on, Ratch'…it'd be fun…And nobody'd suspect you in the least!"

Ratchet eyed the two Autobots as though they'd both gone insane…oh wait. They had. Only the Pit-Spawned Terrors known as Sideswipe and Sunstreaker could come up with something so utterly ridiculous. Shaking his head slightly, the medic moved to put some of his tools away, now that he knew the two weren't injured.

"And _why_ do you want my help in this?" Sunstreaker grinned. That should have been his first clue that things would quickly be going to the Pit.

"Because, you're the only one who would threaten to turn ANYONE into a toaster…or other kitchen appliances."

Ratchet sighed. He knew he was going to regret this in the end… "What do you want me to do?" He was met by identical grins.

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At precisely 09:34:57, the twins and Ratchet launched their prank. It started innocently enough, with the Twin Terrors hijacking the intercom system.

"GOOD MORNING AUTOBOTS! Sunstreaker here, with the morning report!" Some of the Autobots present in the common room, including Optimus, stared at the intercom in disbelief.

"Prowl couldn't be here because he's still too busy with Jazz."

"So we're filling in for him!"

"Speaking of 'Bots who were busy…" Ratchet groaned. He had a bad feeling about this…

"Wait, if you're going to talk about Optimus, Sides, shouldn't it be 'Bots who need to get laid BADLY?" Ratchet had to admit; watching Sam spit his "cappuccino" halfway across the common room was entertaining…almost as entertaining was watching Prowl and Jazz tear down the hall towards the communications room.

"Who said I was talking about Optimus? I was going to ask that Ratchet the Hatchet and ol' 'Hide try to keep it down next time! Some of us DO like to recharge at night! Especially after the fun we had with Blue'…" The silence in the common room was deafening. Even Bluestreak had stopped talking, for once. The next part of the prank had to be set in motion NOW. Ratchet stormed out of the common room, making a beeline for the communications room.

"I SWEAR I AM GOING TO REFORMAT THE TWO OF YOU INTO A COMPLETE KITCHENETTE! TOASTERS AND ALL!!!"

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About three hours later, after having chased the twins out of the communications room and into the medbay, Ratchet approached Ironhide, who was busy blasting the absolute Pit out of a target. Judging from the fact that most of the target was decimated, the weapons specialist was still irritated. Perfect.

"Ironhide. I need your help with something." That caught Ironhide's attention.

"And what would this 'something' be?" Ratchet began to lead Ironhide towards the medbay, 'accidentally' hitting the intercom. He was certain Red Alert and the others in the communications room were shocked with what came from his vocal processor.

"I need help hiding the bodies."

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Things had finally started to quiet down after the intercom incident. Optimus had pulled Ratchet aside for questioning, but the medic had remained tight-lipped as to the condition of the twins. That had been planned, but Optimus didn't need to know that…at least, not yet…

/Are you two ready to do this, or am I going to have to let the cat out of the bag?/ Ratchet groused over the commlink. He could hear the twins snickering, hidden safely in Wheeljack's lab. The later had found the idea highly entertaining, and had volunteered some of his latest tinkerings to the prank, with the promise of a front-row seat to the chaos.

/Ready when you are, Hatchet…this'll be so awesome!/ Ratchet prayed that the twins were right, and that none of the participants would wind up in the brig.

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"Um…guys? What are THOSE?!" Sam pointed to the red and yellow…things that were making their way into the common room. The things were small, boxy, and had two slots…Miles pointed out what they were first.

"Dude, those are TOASTERS!" Prowl raised an optic ridge at the toasters. There was something uncannily familiar about them… Ratchet glared at the yellow one, which backed up a bit, as though it could sense his glare. Bumblebee was the first to figure it out, after adding the events from the past few hours together.

"Ratchet…did you turn Sideswipe and Sunstreaker…into TOASTERS?!" The wicked glint in Ratchet's optics was answer enough. Jazz stared in disbelief at the twin Lamborghinis-turned-kitchen-appliances.

Sure, everybody knew that Ratchet liked to threaten reformatting…but nobody, NOBODY, actually thought he'd go through with it…obviously, the intercom incident had pushed the medic past his limits…

"How could you be so cruel, Hatchet?!" Sunstreaker wailed, startling everyone in the room. It was bad enough that the yellow twin had been turned into a toaster…but now things were just getting worrisome.

"Be glad I left most of your internals intact. I could've easily ripped out your vocal processor!" The medic snarled, giving the yellow toaster a light kick. The red toaster moved to block the medic's path, seeming to be in just as bad a mood as his twin.

"How are we supposed to do our Jet Judo like this?!" Ratchet stopped to consider this, before coming to a conclusion..

"I suppose we could always throw you two slag-heads at the Decepticons…Or perhaps Ironhide could shoot you out of his cannons…" That brought a squawk from Sunny-Toaster.

"Have you gone completely and utterly MAD?! That'd wreck my paintjob!!! Do you know how LONG it took me to get this fragging toaster YELLOW!? They come in one color: SILVER!"

Sunstreaker was working his way up to what promised to be a spectacular rant, when to everyone's (apparent) horror, Ironhide happened to step into the common room, apparently not seeing the yellow toaster. The resulting "CRUNCH" caused Sam's eyes to widen considerably. What Ratchet hadn't counted on was the reaction to Ironhide accidentally stepping on the yellow toaster.

"OH PRIMUS! IRONHIDE SQUASHED SUNSTREAKER!!!" The next few minutes were absolute chaos, as Sideswipe-toaster somehow managed to scale Optimus's arm and launch himself at Ironhide's face, while the weapons specialist tried to explain that Sunstreaker was fine. Ratchet rolled his optics, shaking his head at the chaos.

He was about to make his exit when he felt eyes and optics on him. Turning, the medic faced the stares of every Autobot present, including Optimus Prime. "What?"

"How could you, Ratchet?!"

"It was just a harmless prank!"

"Yeah, Hatchet, how could you be so cruel?" Sideswipe shouted from the doorway, barely able to support his twin, who was currently laughing hysterically. Both twins held the remote controls of two former toy cars. Slowly, everyone looked at the doorway, trying to figure out just what the slag had just happened. Neither of the twins, nor Ratchet for that matter, were prepared for what happened next.

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In a little town, near the intersection of Iowa state highway 48 and US Highway 34, a certain black and white Decepticon paused as he heard a scream. It sounded vaguely familiar…and strangely like both of his spark-mates from before the war…

_/…whatever Prowl and Jazz are getting into, I don't want to know./_


End file.
